


The Absence of Life

by Andsoshewrites



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-28
Updated: 2014-02-03
Packaged: 2018-01-06 10:26:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1105705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andsoshewrites/pseuds/Andsoshewrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The world has died. Alfred and Kiku are the only living things left. They're both broken, but together...perhaps they can fill in at least some of the cracks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A few things:
> 
> Alfred and Kiku are the last living things on Earth (they don't know this for certain, but I do). Some event took place in the recent past that killed all life on Earth, aside from Alfred and Kiku. Whether this happened days or weeks ago is still kind of foggy in my mind. Rating may change later.

The ground is dusty and brown, void of all life that it once held. Kiku’s sneakers look odd against it, blue and white—albeit covered in dirt—, remnants of life in the ruins of death. Any trees that once were are wrecked trunks of dead wood rising up from the ground, dead and useless things. Brown is the color of the ground. Brown is the color of the dead trees. Brown is the color of Kiku’s eyes. Brown is the color of Kiku’s despair. _There should be grass_ , Kiku thinks in what should be a desolate manner, but is nothing but numb because that’s what Kiku is. Numb.

“Holy shit! Are you alive?” The voice makes Kiku’s eyes widen. A little sliver of emotion almost makes itself apparent, but it doesn’t quite make it. Kiku turns around.

What he sees is a man with blond hair and blue eyes. He looks fairly tall, but many people are in comparison to Kiku. He looks happy to see another thing that still holds life. _Happiness_ … Kiku thinks. When was the last time he felt such an emotion? When was the last time he felt _any_ emotion?

“Yes, I am…alive.”

 “I haven’t seen…I haven’t seen anyone alive since…” The man’s voice falls away, and he frowns. Kiku cringes. More traces of emotions; what about this man makes him…feel?

The man walks over and hugs Kiku. Human contact feels…reassuring, for lack of a better term. Now that he is so close, Kiku can smell dust and sweat on him, which is refreshing after smelling nothing but the smell of the destroyed world, even though that too smells of dust.

“What’s your name?” The man whispers, still hugging Kiku. It’s like he thinks this situation is fragile. If he speaks too loud, it’ll crack. He’ll wake up. It’s a dream.

But, it’s not a dream, because Kiku can feel the man’s breath on his neck and feel himself sweating under the hot sun of what was once California.

“Kiku,” Kiku answers, also whispering. Though, why he’s doing this, he doesn’t know.

“I’m Alfred.” The two of them don’t move for a long time. Finally, Kiku speaks.

“You’re not going to break anything. The world is broken enough already.” Reluctantly, Alfred breaks away from Kiku, giving him a chance to truly observe him for the first time.

Alfred’s eyes are the first things that Kiku focuses on. They’re a brilliant shade of blue, and they look especially gorgeous after seeing a world of nothing but brown and the faded colors of the occasional store. In them Kiku can see youth and hope, but he can also see something darker—something brought to Alfred from this dead world. A twinge of emotion comes over Kiku again, and all that he is certain of is that he wants to take the darkness away from Alfred.

There are bags under Alfred’s eyes. It adds to the gloominess that seems to dust over Alfred’s features. It’s like a disease, a virus, a plague. Kiku knows that the same gloominess is on him as well—he’s seen it in his reflection—, but it suits him better than it suits Alfred. Kiku looks numb. Alfred looks sad.

Then, there’s Alfred’s hair. Golden like the sun, even with the spatters of dirt and dust in it. It’s so different compared to Kiku’s own hair, black like the soundless, lonely nights that have become customary to him. Kiku feels like there’s something significant about his and Alfred’s contrasting colors, but he doesn’t know what, exactly.

“How old are you?” Kiku asks because Alfred looks so _young_.

“Nineteen.”

“I’m twenty-three.” Kiku doesn’t know why he says this. Alfred never asked him for his age.

“Can I come with you?”

“Where?” Kiku asks, though he knows the answer.

“Everywhere. I don’t…I don’t want to be alone.” The prospect of going places with Alfred is strange. Kiku has been alone since the world died. But, that had been when Kiku had thought he was the last person alive. Now that he knows that Alfred is alive too….

“Yes,” Kiku says, “you can come with me.”

“Thank you!” Alfred says, and Kiku thinks that he can see the fleeting image of what Alfred used to be for just the smallest amount of time in those startlingly blue eyes of his.

They walk together in silence for a while. Alfred hovers extremely close to Kiku, which would bother him in normal circumstances, but in the current circumstance doesn’t in the least. It’s a reminder that he’s alive. Though, whether or not Kiku still wants to be alive is questionable. Such thoughts about mortality and life are all floating around in Kiku’s head like spider webs caught in the wind. _What matters anymore?_

“There should be grass,” Alfred says, kicking at the ground. Kiku thinks that he and Alfred share a thought process.

“There should be,” Kiku says, as if confirming some sort of spiritual question. He and Alfred will get along well.


	2. Chapter 2

“Let’s go into a Burger King,” Alfred says, not too long after he and Kiku have started walking together.

“Why?”

Alfred doesn’t answer. Instead, he veers away from the unofficial path they have been walking and toward a Burger King. Kiku follows him. Of course.

“This is like…those horror movies, you know?” Alfred says once they’re around fifteen feet away from the Burger King, “I mean, not…not this…this _situation_ , no, this is so much fucking _worse_ , but I mean…going into an abandoned building. I feel like something’s going to jump out at us.”

“Everything is dead.”

“I know,” Alfred’s voice is weak and coarse. He looks like he might cry. Kiku doesn’t want that.

It _does_ look like a horror movie inside, Kiku will give Alfred that. Nobody’s there, though there are half-finished hamburgers lying on deserted tables and french-fries with only the tops of them bitten off sitting on trays as if someone is going to pick them up and finish them. Kiku tries to take up as little room as he can, having not been comfortable with fast food restaurants even before. He keeps his eyes on Alfred, who seems to be gaining more from this trip than Kiku is.

Alfred slides over the counter ( _Why? There are doors that the employees would go into to get into the back section._ ) and wanders off into the part of the Burger King hidden from the customers that once were. Alfred comes back with some coca-cola, burgers, some french-fries, and some ketchup. Alfred sets them down and drums his fingers on the counter.

“I used to work in a Burger King back in high school.” A pained sort of smile lies on Alfred’s face.

“Come on, Alfred, let’s go. Leave the hamburgers behind too, they might be rancid.” Kiku can tell that something is eating at Alfred’s emotions.

“I know that! I made myself my own without meat,” Alfred unwraps the ‘hamburger’ and lifts up the bun, showing Kiku that there’s no meat inside, “I’m not stupid.”

“That’s fine, then. But…we should still go.”

“I don’t understand!” There’s a crash as Alfred grabs a cup (filled with water, abandoned) and throws it. It lands on a table and spills out its contents before spinning onto the floor. “Why did this happen? _What_ happened? First, everyone died for _no fucking reason_ and then they all just _vanished!_ _What happened?_ ” Alfred slaps his hands over his eyes, glasses and all.

“Alfred,” Kiku says softly, although where he’s going with this word he doesn’t know. His feet seem to be moving of their own accord, leading him closer to Alfred. “Alfred,” Kiku says again, a little louder this time.

“What?” Alfred snaps, sniffling a little.

“There’s no use dwelling over this. We should leave.”

Alfred takes his hands away from his eyes. He looks quite a mess, red-faced with wet cheeks and bleary eyes. “Yeah, okay…okay.” Alfred pulls a packet of glass cleaner out of his pocket, tears it open, and wipes off his glasses. He slides over the counter again and grabs the food he took. “Let’s get out of here,” Alfred says. Kiku can’t help but to agree with him.

Almost immediately after Kiku and Alfred leave the Burger King, Alfred starts sipping on his coke. _What an odd person,_ Kiku thinks, _changing emotions so quickly._

“Oh, do you want some?” Alfred asks, gesturing to the food in his hands.

“Oh, no, I don’t really like this type of food all that much.” Kiku thinks that Alfred doesn’t see him sneaking a fry. He does.

“Suit yourself,” Alfred says with a shrug. Though, he leaves the french-fries in a position where Kiku will easily be able to get them. There are a few beats of silence before Alfred asks, “Do you know what time it is?”

“Does it matter anymore?”

Alfred looks up at the sky. The sun is setting. “Let’s sit somewhere,” Alfred says.

“Where?” Alfred looks around.

“Why not right here?” And, with that, Alfred sits, positioning the various food items he took from the Burger King around himself. With a sigh, Kiku sits too. He doesn’t have the will to try to argue with a person like Alfred. He doesn’t have the will to argue much at all, in fact.

For a while, there’s silence as Alfred eats his burgers and drinks his coke. Kiku takes the occasional fry, every time trying to make sure that Alfred doesn’t see. Then, Alfred looks over. “Aren’t you hungry, Kiku?” Kiku has to admit that he is.

“Yes....”

“Have some, then. I’m certainly not judging.” Alfred slides a burger over Kiku’s way, and Kiku grabs half of the fries in the box and sets them on one of his legs. For once, Kiku feels no guilt biting into the faux hamburger that Alfred had made. Everything is dead. There is no media to criticize such behavior. Kiku doesn’t feel much at all. What is there to lose?

“The sunset is nice,” Kiku comments, letting himself relax. Alfred hums in agreement. Kiku’s eyes slide shut after some time, but he does not sleep. He does, however, let himself relax and enjoy the feeling of summer air around him and the fact that, for once, he cannot smell pollution.

They will not seek shelter to sleep until much later in the night. When they do, they will both fall sleep almost instantly, and they will forget the woes of the deserted Earth for just a little while.      


	3. Chapter 3

Kiku and Alfred had slept in a nice hotel because it was there, and, really, why not? They had taken the keys to the first floor rooms—not particularly wanting to make the trek up however many sets of stairs and back down again—and had slept in the first one they had found that had two beds. Both of them slept well, having had the experience of sleeping on unwelcoming, hard floors in the recent past.

Kiku wakes up first. He lies in the hotel bed with his face hidden from the sun for a time, but even when he decides to come to terms with the fact that he is conscious, Alfred is still asleep. Kiku’s throat feels like it’s almost sealed shut from the grog of sleep, but he also doesn’t want to wake Alfred by slipping into the lobby to grab a bottle of water.

Kiku decides to get water anyway. If Alfred wakes up, well, that’s unfortunate, but ultimately it’s Alfred’s problem, not his. Kiku does, however, try to slip out of the room as quietly as possible.

Kiku wastes no time getting back to his and Alfred’s room after getting the water, even though he does decide to grab more bottles than he had originally intended. He places a few bottles very lightly on the ground next to Alfred’s bed and uses the ones he has designated for himself to wash off his face and quench his thirst. Alfred starts to stir in his bed.

“G’…morn….” It’s a rather pathetic attempt at speech on Alfred’s part. Alfred’s hair looks like lightning, spiky and bearing the same color. Alfred pushes himself up a bit, as if trying to get out of bed, then decides that that’s too much work and falls back onto the mattress.

“I brought you some water from the lobby. It’s beside your bed, make sure you don’t knock it over when you get up.” Alfred’s focus shifts to the bottles on the floor.

“Thanks,” Alfred says with a yawn, obviously not ready for meaningful conversation yet.

Alfred does get out of bed. Eventually. He makes quick use of the water bottles Kiku brought him. “That kind of stuff is there in the lobby? I didn’t get a good look yesterday.”      

“Let’s go down there. There’s surely something you’ll be able to eat.” Kiku doesn’t mention that he’s hungry too. Some of the stuff that he saw would have gotten his mouth watering if his mouth hadn’t been so dry and hadn’t tasted like morning breath.

Kiku has already ridden himself of any lingering effects of sleep. Alfred hasn’t; he stumbles through the hallway grumbling. Kiku finds it more entertaining than he normally would, seeing as Alfred is typically so peppy. Any thoughts of sleep and warm, fluffy hotel beds seem to vanish from Alfred’s mind, however, when the two of them reach the lobby and discover the various food items it has to offer.

Alfred is a ravenous beast when given the chance. Kiku sits back, calmly eating a muffin, watching as his companion tears through wrappers and the food inside them. Alfred had warned Kiku beforehand to take whatever food he wanted before he ate it. Kiku can now see why Alfred had given him this warning.

“So,” Alfred says through mouthfuls of food ( _Didn’t anyone ever teach him anything about manners?_ ), “what was your life like before…you know…”

“I had a lot of family. How we were all related to one another was all kind of jumbled, but we were family. I had a cat and a dog….” Kiku stops short. He’s never really known how to talk about himself.

“I had…I had two dads and a brother. A twin brother, actually. His name is… _was_ Matthew and Dad and Papa adopted us when we were really little. I had a cat…. I just…I just wish that I had taken the time to see all of them more once I had moved out. I love them….” Alfred shoves some more food into his mouth, as if this will dull his emotions.

“The past doesn’t matter anymore,” Kiku says, “what matters is what’s happening now. And right now we are just two people, alone together. I’m Kiku and you’re Alfred. That’s all.”

“I miss them so much,” Alfred says softly, the flow of food into his mouth slowing until it ceases completely.

“I know.”

Alfred starts to eat again, but his movements are melancholy and slow. Seeing Alfred in such a state makes Kiku uneasy, but he doesn’t have even the slightest idea of how to console him.

“I don’t want to do this anymore,” Alfred says in a voice almost too soft for Kiku to hear. Though, when Kiku questions him about his words, Alfred doesn’t respond. Something starts to squirm inside of Kiku’s stomach. He thinks that it may be worry. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: mentions of suicide

Kiku is an object stuck in a chunk of ice, and Alfred is a flame, turning Kiku’s icy exterior into useless, useless water. Alfred is a flame, dwindling into ash, and Kiku is the meek breath of someone trying to keep that flame from burning out. Alfred is good at being the flame to Kiku’s ice. Kiku is not good at being the breath to Alfred’s flame.

There is light inside of Alfred. It’s in his eyes, in his actions, in his laugh. It’s in everything he does. His honey-blond hair is like Alfred’s own personal ray of sunshine, and Alfred seems to be glowing at all times.

But, Alfred is  _sad_. He’s quiet and his eyes seem to have lost their shine, no longer the sparkling blue gems that Kiku once saw them to be. And damn it if that doesn’t break Kiku into pieces.

Alfred is the  _only_  thing Kiku has. Not only that, Alfred handles Kiku’s standoffish behavior and lack of emotion considerably well, and Kiku feels that, if he and Alfred had met before everything had changed, they could have been friends.

_Should_  have been is better phrasing, Kiku thinks. He and Alfred work too well together for their lives not to cross paths at some point in time. Kiku is sure of this because even up to his shoulders in sadness, Alfred is still making Kiku  _feel_  after he shut himself down emotionally. Though, Kiku can’t bring himself to resent Alfred—mostly because they’re the last two living things on Earth and it would be pointless and detrimental—but also because he likes Alfred, more than just an ‘I’m stuck with you so I guess I’ll tolerate you’ kind of way. He considers Alfred to be his friend.

Alfred is dying, though. It sounds like a stupid thing to think, but it’s not. Alfred without some sort of happiness—even a minute amount—is like the sun without fire. Without his trademark happiness, Alfred doesn’t eat. Kiku does manage to get some food and liquid into him from time to time, but Alfred never eats willingly. He also hardly talks at all, and when he does his voice is monotonous, a far cry from the animated manner of speaking he had before. Kiku is afraid that he’s going to drown in his sadness.

* * *

Alfred is absentmindedly running his hand through his hair. When he pulls his hand away, there are strands of blond hair on his hand, pulled from his scalp effortlessly. Kiku quickly averts his eyes from the scene.

“You really should eat more regularly. It’s not healthy to do that.”

“I want to die.”

“Alfred—”

“There’s no point in living!  _You_  should want to die too!” Kiku can’t hear Alfred talking this way.  _This is what’s going to destroy me,_  Kiku thinks,  _not being alone, not the elements, no. It’s Alfred. Alfred and this newfound despairing attitude of his._

“So, what, you’re going to starve yourself? Make yourself suffer? What have you done to deserve that?” Kiku can’t bring himself to look at Alfred. Eye contact is hard enough to accomplish when he isn’t arguing with someone. Alfred is silent.

Suddenly, Alfred steers himself away from the direction he and Kiku are facing and starts walking toward a building that sells guns. Kiku’s stomach flips upside down; he feels like he’s going to throw up.

“Alfred!” Kiku yells, because he really can’t think of anything else to say.

“Maybe you’re right,” Alfred doesn’t turn to face Kiku; he just keeps walking, “maybe I don’t deserve to suffer. I’ll get a gun. It’ll be quick.”

“ _Alfred!_ ” And Kiku is  _screaming_  Alfred’s name now, running after him. Alfred is a flame; Kiku is covered in ice; Alfred has thawed him out.

“You stupid…! You can’t leave me! We’re in this together, you stupid…you stupid _bastard!_  Don’t you see what you’ve done to me? Do you see me, right now, breaking down right in front of you?”

Alfred stops and turns to face Kiku. There are tears in Kiku’s eyes, and he looks absolutely defeated. He and Alfred stare at each other.

Alfred lifts up one of his feet. It wavers in the air for a while before stepping down in Kiku’s direction. It only takes a few steps to reach him, and once he has, he envelops him in a hug, and they’re  _both_  crying. After all, they are just two very lost people in a very broken world.

“I’m sorry,” Alfred whispers. Kiku sniffles in response.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking around until the end

“Kiku, what’s darkness?”

“What?”

“What’s the definition, I mean.”

“The absence of light, or something like it.”

“That’s what I thought. That’s what I think this is.” Kiku looks over at Alfred, knowing that he’s going to continue. The two of them are lying on the dusty ground, not doing anything except for just…being. Neither of them mind it. “I was thinking that this world we live in is like darkness, except with people. The absence of life.”

Kiku doesn’t respond. Sometimes the two of them just  _say_  things because they need to, and they don’t want any kind of response. Kiku leans his head on Alfred’s shoulder and hums.

Kiku almost nods off like this. With his head on Alfred’s shoulder and Alfred’s head resting on his head. Kiku is pulled out of his almost-state of sleeping when Alfred says, “Kiku,” and then pauses, as if he’s hoping that Kiku didn’t hear him.

“Yes, Alfred?”

“I…I don’t mind spending the end of the world with you. It’s still horrible, but…you make it better.” Alfred and Kiku’s eyes meet. They stare for a few seconds, minutes, hours, an infinite amount of time, and  _then_ ….

Alfred, braver and finally unchained from society’s rigid guidelines, rolls on top of Kiku and starts kissing him. Kiku happily reciprocates.

They kiss for a while and then simply lie there, content just experiencing human contact. “We’re going to be alone together until we die,” Alfred says.

“Alone together…that sounds nice.” Kiku lifts his head up and kisses Alfred’s nose. Alfred’s grin is brighter than the sun, and Kiku knows that Alfred has stolen his heart and melted it with his sunshine smile. And, for the first time since everything died, the world is more than just bearable.


End file.
